A tough couple of days; determined not to let this get on top of me but it really is starting to wear me down.
I have to remind myself that 'Big Picture', all is OK. The problem is my wound has turned really nasty. The more squeamish of you may not to read the rest of this post.
I had two holes in my wound about 5p piece sized and maybe three inches apart. The wound has now opened-up between these two holes to leave me with a gaping hole maybe 3.5 inches long and an inch wide ... and a lot of foul smelling fluid and puss pours out pretty continuously. It is, as it sounds, deeply unpleasant. It does explain why yesterday was such a painful day and had me taking all the pain-killers I am allowed.
The District Nurse described the output from the wound as 'volcanic' today and for the first time she mentioned concern about MRSA. They took a swab a week ago and that has just come back clear so hopefully its 'just an infection' rather than something more sinister.
I started a fresh course of antibiotics yesterday and am told that within 2-3 days the effect should be noticeable. The District Nurse assures me the worst should be over now I have 'erupted'. She suggested that I must be regretting having the operation now. For the first time: yes, damn it, I am regretting it. It wasn't meant to be as bad as this -- of all the things to worry about the surgical incision wound itself was not really on my list.
So there you go. Feeling sorry for myself, which is never a good sign. Have to remind myself that 'you can only do what you can do', that 'we are where we are' and other such glib truisms. But I guess these self-evident truths are, well, true. Self evidently. So I am where I am and I can only do what I can do.
Time to buck up and get on with it I guess. My next post will be more upbeat I promise.